"Every time you post about school, you seem really unhappy. Didn't you choose to go to grad school?" -Matt Hartzell

I feel like it's only fair that I address this. So here it is.

1.) Unhappiness - I'm not unhappy with my decision to go back to school, in fact, I'm really enjoying my education here. The biggest issue, the one that causes the most unhappiness and frustration for me, is that my busiest and most stressful times at work correspond perfectly with my busiest and most stressful times at school. I knew it would be that way when I decided to attend the school that I work for, but it does get exhausting. The first couple weeks of class are the heaviest for me as far as my job goes - so I end up running around like crazy for 9 hours a day trying to get everything done, and then on top of that I have school to worry about when I get home. It's SU overload.

2.) Choice- So, yes and no. Yes, I chose to start graduate school. But the nature of my job and the career path I am moving down REQUIRES that I have a Masters degree. Jon and I aren't exactly in the position to fork out $30,000+ a year so I can get the education needed to move up in my job. So it was essentially a now or never choice. I could go to school now and have SU pay for it while I have this job, or I could work this job for a few years and then move on somewhere else that might offer me a better position, but not the education benefit. And without the education, there is only so far I can go. SU is unique in the sense that it pays for 100% of their employees graduate degrees - most places pay for 1/2 or even less - so it seemed incredibly foolish not to take advantage of such an awesome benefit. It also makes me slightly less bitter about my tiny salary.

So anyways, I know what I signed on for, but I'm doing it now because I have to - not because I really felt ready or excited to go back to school. With that said, I actually love what I'm learning and the classes I'm taking - there just isn't an end in sight anytime soon (I'll be in school for at least 2.5-3 more years) and it's a little bit depressing to know that I have to give up that much time with Jon and with my friends, it's that many weekends I can't go down to Portland to see my family, it's that long we'll have to wait until we can start thinking abut kids, and it's that long I'll be staying in this entry level, no real education required job.

So yeah, I did choose to start school and I'm not unhappy. It's just that being a full time employee + student + wife/friend/daughter/etc is a lot to balance.